Joseph Smith

JosephSmith 2.jpg (156 KB)

He was the founder of the Latter Day Saint movement, also known as Mormonism, and an important religious and political figure during the 1830s and 1840s. In 1827, Smith began to gather a religious following after announcing that an angel had shown him a set of golden plates describing a visit of Jesus to the indigenous peoples of the Americas. In 1830, Smith published what he said was a translation of these plates as the Book of Mormon, and the same year he organized the Church of Christ.

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    29 Responses to Joseph Smith

    1. aaahhh Moronism… Gotta love those Morons! What a buncha Maroons

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    2. Time machine+flame thrower=bad book salesmen problem solved

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    3. I live In Las Vegas. You would think in a town full of sin there wouldnt be that many religious people here. But its Mormon City.. I have lived here for almost 3 years now and they are everywhere. I cant wait to get stationed somewhere elts soon. lol

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    4. Where is his hat?

      More to the point I wonder if he is wearing his magic underwear….sorry my bad, his temple endowments? Probably and as it must have been before 1923 I guess they would have been of the split-crotch variety…yeah.

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    5. I wonder if the artist who painted this slept with him… look at the detail put to his hands… if his hands really looked like that, he had some fine ass handjob hands.

      Just sayin’

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    6. Joseph Smith was called a prophet, DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM!

      ^^^THIS IS WHAT MORMONS ACTUALLY BELIEVE

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    7. God, Even the group of messianic jews who think you will go to hell because you don’t say Yeshua’s (one of the hebrew words for jesus/yhwh jehova) name correctly think mormonism is a bunch of bullshit.

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    8. No seriously. Jesus said, “shit, man, I never got to see America”, and came back.

      I personally would have waited until a few theme parks and a mall were built, but hey, Jesus has his own agenda. And mysterious ways.

      I can believe this.

      Especially since he came to what is now the US of A and not Canada or Mexico. Jesus knows where it’s at.

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    9. In b4 DUM DUM DUM DU-@samoses: Fuck you.

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    10. I spent three years living in Utah, and while their religion is a piece of bizarre work that will never be matched by mankind until Scientology, at least a lot of the Mormons I met there were decent folks.

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    11. *Knock*
      *Knock*
      *Open*
      “You should read The Book of Mormon because you’ll be as awesome as us and a good moral person if you follow the word of our God. Please give us your money to support our cause. We are better then you.” *grin*
      *Slam door shut*
      *Lock*
      *Lock*
      *Lock*
      *Goes back to reading/not reading Playboy.

      If there is a God, he/she/it fucking hates America.

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    12. One day, back when I was in the navy, I was at home and very bored. I would get knockers about once a month out at my apartment in Chesapeake, VA. A few of these…people came knocking on the door. I opened it smiled, and allowed them in. I asked them to sit on the couch, and then asked if they would like some water or anything else to “drink.” I then sat there and listened. My jaw began to drop as the shit that came out of there mouth. I didn’t say much, just listened. After 2 hours and it was pretty dark out, I stood up and said “Oh shit! I’m late for my human sacrifice, I’m sorry you guys have to go.” I began removing clothes right there in front of them, they immidiately stood up and walked out. After over a year of living in that appartment complex I think they finally got the hint. Didn’t have a single knocker at my door for the next 8 months and it was wonderful.

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    13. I don’t normally like to dump on people’s religion, but honestly, everything I’ve read on the subject shows that the main purpose for the invention of Mormonism was to have a religious excuse to bang lots of wives. It was a convenient way to convince women that it was okay to have sex with the Mormon founders because… Surprise! God said they should. Even better, their original wives couldn’t bitch about the new mistresses because…. God said that it was necessary!

      Nice scam, and nice that they had enough charisma to actually convince people that it was true.

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    14. @samoses: hahaha yes the southpark episode would tell anyone anything they wanted to know about this ridiculas religion.

      and im sure jesus came to america, was a gold smith, made plates from the gold, burried them in america somewhere, and knew some day a con-man would be the only one to be able to translate the golden jesus plates.

      also: to all of you silly billy willy mormons,
      I’m pretty sure that in the Holy Bible (saying Holy Bible does not include the book of mormon) in the last book known as revelations, it states what will happen if anyone adds or takes away from the Bible. this brings up an interesting point of how its the last book. more or less i find mormonism logically funny because its like all you fucking idiots think the bible says,

      “dont add or take away anything to this holy book. the end. >added> mormonism, golden plates, rofl.

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    15. Mormons. As if I didn’t have enough reasons to hate you, you crapped out Twilight.

      THANKS! 😛

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    16. All I wanna know is: How do you even SAY “the angel Moroni” with a straight face?

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    17. whoops –make that “the prophet Moroni”

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    18. when i was a kid, my best friend was Mormon. i went to his boy scout troup. Mormons are strange. he was from a family of 8 kids- and he now has 12 kids of his own! (IDIOT)

      Mormons didnt party or drink, etc- but they DID destroy shit. LOTS of destruction.

      Joeseph Smith was a douchbag liar who wanted to have a lot of very young wives, and take “alms” from his friends instead of working a job. he was a piece of shit. religion? in the Mormon church- there is no reference to Jesus. But there or lots of mystic runes scattered about. i’d say it’s much closer to a cult.

      Oh- and when you get married in the temple in SLC- they strip the couple naked and ANNOINT their nude bodies… these old, weird, perverted men oil you up EVREYWHERE. they you put on the funky undies forever. they never come off. you are supposed to shower with them on, and when you change them, one foot is in the old set, as you place your other foot into the fresh set. and they have mystic runes sewn into them to bless your body….

      and to think- people though Mitch Romney might make a great president! LMFAO!!!!

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    19. if those gold plates were real tha john smith spoke about and the were pure gold and the mesurments were correct each one of those plates would of been 2,000 lbs each! solid gold! not likly, and he clamed to carry these plates across the desert. holding 4 thousnd pounds! this i gotta see!

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    20. @storminator: All the boyscout troups are Mormon now… -_- Why do you think they suddenly started caring about homosexuals?

      www.mormoncurtain.com/topic_boyscouts.html
      (not the most unbiased site, but from actual Ex-Mormons.)

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    21. @storminator: @zazzer: Your grammar & spelling sins are making the angels gnaw on their golden plates.

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    22. Wow, if the only thing that seriously disturbs you about Mormonism is poligamy and Joseph Smith, you need to see the other shit they hide.

      I’ve spent hours upon hours talking with my Mormon friends, and there is so much more than you could ever imagine.

      They will stalk you if they think you’re “running away” from God.

      They are raising an army to fight their holy war (it’s pretty much mandatory, at least where I live, to be seriously involved in some kind of physical combat training).

      Those “annointing” ceremonies seal you to your husband and family in the afterlife. Don’t even ask how it goes if you’ve been married multiple times. You also have to pray for people outside of the church to guarantee their spot in the lower level of heaven.

      The only people who can have any power in the church must be married.

      You can’t attend a Mormon college until you’ve paid all your tithing and attended all their classes.

      Just reading the Book of Mormon gave me a headache. Then the supplements put out by the head cheese. O_o

      However, they’re literally like a mini-government with some interesting views on social services. They’re always there for you. But if you do get involved in the adoption agency, they want you to adopt their “special” babies first. It’s scary as hell.

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    23. Jesus AND God met with Joe Smith when he was just a little crank puller. Then the angel Boney-Maroney (Jerry Lee Lewis sang a religious song about him) game ol’ Smitty some gold tablets written in gibberish, but Joe put some magic stones in a hat, rattled them around and the translation came out. Get all that? Good, now give me ALL YOUR GOD DAMNED MONEY.

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    24. What I love is the fact that he ‘translated’ the plates once, then his wife hid the transcript. So he translated them a second time. Guess what? The two versions were toadally different. Yuk yuk.

      Mormons are just the most obviously gullible believers. All the other religions started off in an equally unreliable way.

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