Joseph Smith

JosephSmith 2.jpg (156 KB)

He was the founder of the Latter Day Saint movement, also known as Mormonism, and an important religious and political figure during the 1830s and 1840s. In 1827, Smith began to gather a religious following after announcing that an angel had shown him a set of golden plates describing a visit of Jesus to the indigenous peoples of the Americas. In 1830, Smith published what he said was a translation of these plates as the Book of Mormon, and the same year he organized the Church of Christ.


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    AbaddonTheDespoiler
    Member

    aaahhh Moronism… Gotta love those Morons! What a buncha Maroons

    MonkeyHitman
    Member

    well put

    outofocus
    Member

    Time machine+flame thrower=bad book salesmen problem solved

    outofocus
    Member

    s/salesmen/salesman

    riverdaledragon
    Member
    riverdaledragon

    I live In Las Vegas. You would think in a town full of sin there wouldnt be that many religious people here. But its Mormon City.. I have lived here for almost 3 years now and they are everywhere. I cant wait to get stationed somewhere elts soon. lol

    Kalil
    Member

    Where is his hat?

    More to the point I wonder if he is wearing his magic underwear….sorry my bad, his temple endowments? Probably and as it must have been before 1923 I guess they would have been of the split-crotch variety…yeah.

    outofocus
    Member

    I wonder if the artist who painted this slept with him… look at the detail put to his hands… if his hands really looked like that, he had some fine ass handjob hands.

    Just sayin’

    samoses
    Member

    Joseph Smith was called a prophet, DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM!

    ^^^THIS IS WHAT MORMONS ACTUALLY BELIEVE

    TheLotusEater725
    Member

    God, Even the group of messianic jews who think you will go to hell because you don’t say Yeshua’s (one of the hebrew words for jesus/yhwh jehova) name correctly think mormonism is a bunch of bullshit.

    ack
    Member

    No seriously. Jesus said, “shit, man, I never got to see America”, and came back.

    I personally would have waited until a few theme parks and a mall were built, but hey, Jesus has his own agenda. And mysterious ways.

    I can believe this.

    Especially since he came to what is now the US of A and not Canada or Mexico. Jesus knows where it’s at.

    Kero
    Member

    In b4 DUM DUM DUM DU-@samoses: Fuck you.

    Philmoney
    Member

    the horror

    Kishi
    Member

    I spent three years living in Utah, and while their religion is a piece of bizarre work that will never be matched by mankind until Scientology, at least a lot of the Mormons I met there were decent folks.

    Puulaahi
    Member

    *Knock*
    *Knock*
    *Open*
    “You should read The Book of Mormon because you’ll be as awesome as us and a good moral person if you follow the word of our God. Please give us your money to support our cause. We are better then you.” *grin*
    *Slam door shut*
    *Lock*
    *Lock*
    *Lock*
    *Goes back to reading/not reading Playboy.

    If there is a God, he/she/it fucking hates America.

    Drunkin
    Member

    One day, back when I was in the navy, I was at home and very bored. I would get knockers about once a month out at my apartment in Chesapeake, VA. A few of these…people came knocking on the door. I opened it smiled, and allowed them in. I asked them to sit on the couch, and then asked if they would like some water or anything else to “drink.” I then sat there and listened. My jaw began to drop as the shit that came out of there mouth. I didn’t say much, just listened. After 2 hours and… Read more »

    SirWishbone
    Member

    I don’t normally like to dump on people’s religion, but honestly, everything I’ve read on the subject shows that the main purpose for the invention of Mormonism was to have a religious excuse to bang lots of wives. It was a convenient way to convince women that it was okay to have sex with the Mormon founders because… Surprise! God said they should. Even better, their original wives couldn’t bitch about the new mistresses because…. God said that it was necessary!

    Nice scam, and nice that they had enough charisma to actually convince people that it was true.

    natedog
    Member
    Haggardavatar
    Member

    @samoses: hahaha yes the southpark episode would tell anyone anything they wanted to know about this ridiculas religion. and im sure jesus came to america, was a gold smith, made plates from the gold, burried them in america somewhere, and knew some day a con-man would be the only one to be able to translate the golden jesus plates. also: to all of you silly billy willy mormons, I’m pretty sure that in the Holy Bible (saying Holy Bible does not include the book of mormon) in the last book known as revelations, it states what will happen if anyone… Read more »

    Haggardavatar
    Member

    te hehehe

    CathyLong
    Member

    Mormons. As if I didn’t have enough reasons to hate you, you crapped out Twilight.

    THANKS! 😛

    HoChunk
    Member

    All I wanna know is: How do you even SAY “the angel Moroni” with a straight face?

    HoChunk
    Member

    whoops –make that “the prophet Moroni”

    storminator
    Member

    when i was a kid, my best friend was Mormon. i went to his boy scout troup. Mormons are strange. he was from a family of 8 kids- and he now has 12 kids of his own! (IDIOT) Mormons didnt party or drink, etc- but they DID destroy shit. LOTS of destruction. Joeseph Smith was a douchbag liar who wanted to have a lot of very young wives, and take “alms” from his friends instead of working a job. he was a piece of shit. religion? in the Mormon church- there is no reference to Jesus. But there or lots… Read more »

    zazzer
    Member

    if those gold plates were real tha john smith spoke about and the were pure gold and the mesurments were correct each one of those plates would of been 2,000 lbs each! solid gold! not likly, and he clamed to carry these plates across the desert. holding 4 thousnd pounds! this i gotta see!

    CathyLong
    Member

    @storminator: All the boyscout troups are Mormon now… -_- Why do you think they suddenly started caring about homosexuals?

    www.mormoncurtain.com/topic_boyscouts.html
    (not the most unbiased site, but from actual Ex-Mormons.)

    HoChunk
    Member

    @storminator: @zazzer: Your grammar & spelling sins are making the angels gnaw on their golden plates.

    Skipper
    Member

    Wow, if the only thing that seriously disturbs you about Mormonism is poligamy and Joseph Smith, you need to see the other shit they hide. I’ve spent hours upon hours talking with my Mormon friends, and there is so much more than you could ever imagine. They will stalk you if they think you’re “running away” from God. They are raising an army to fight their holy war (it’s pretty much mandatory, at least where I live, to be seriously involved in some kind of physical combat training). Those “annointing” ceremonies seal you to your husband and family in the… Read more »

    blackdog33
    Member
    blackdog33

    Jesus AND God met with Joe Smith when he was just a little crank puller. Then the angel Boney-Maroney (Jerry Lee Lewis sang a religious song about him) game ol’ Smitty some gold tablets written in gibberish, but Joe put some magic stones in a hat, rattled them around and the translation came out. Get all that? Good, now give me ALL YOUR GOD DAMNED MONEY.

    steve-o
    Guest
    steve-o

    What I love is the fact that he ‘translated’ the plates once, then his wife hid the transcript. So he translated them a second time. Guess what? The two versions were toadally different. Yuk yuk.

    Mormons are just the most obviously gullible believers. All the other religions started off in an equally unreliable way.



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