Zoo Picture

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    18 Responses to Zoo Picture

    1. I find this remarkably hilarious.

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    2. Totally unrealistic.

      Lions are the chief prey of giraffes.

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    3. If they switched places, well then you’d have yourself a picture sir.

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    4. @LukeV1-5: Lions are the chief prey of giraffes? So you’re saying giraffes eat lions?

      Also, your mom is the cheif prey of ME.

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    5. @thatonejimguy: Hell yeah giraffes eat lions.

      It just makes sense.

      Evolution is key, right?

      So giraffes, by the thingy of evolution, have grown to be exceedingly tall.

      Now, if you’re a prey animal on the plains, you don’t want to be tall. Then things can kill you, and eat you. You don’t want that either. You want to be small enough to use the grass as cover.

      Lions are low enough to use the grass as cover. Sure, they have claws and teeth; when a giraffe’s hoof is coming at you, you need to be able to defend yourself. Trampling by giraffe is the number 1 cause of trampling-related death in lions.

      Some may say, “But Luke, uncontested master of time, space and the infinite cosmos, surely the giraffe’s teeth are too flat, more inclined to a vegetable diet!”

      And I say this:

      When your main hunting method is trampling, you combine in yourr tactic killing and tenderizing. By the time a giraffe has run over a lion’s corpse a few times, it is soft enough to be spread on a sandwich.

      As for tearing the meat from the carcass, this is where the giraffe’s long neck comes into play. Are you familiar with the physical principle of centripetal motion?

      Probably not. It’s not very interesting.

      Essentially, the giraffe’s long neck, and hence, the distance of the head from the fulcrum of motion, means that when the giraffe lowers its head and spins around, there is a great amount of acceleration at the top of the head.

      It takes 2 giraffes to eat a lion, and not for the reason you would think.

      First, one giraffe lowers its head and begins to spin. The other picks up the lion in its mouth. It can do this, because of magic. It also begins to spin. When the first giraffe has reached the optimum speed, the second giraffe launches the lion towards the first. At which point, the first lion grabs part of the lion with its teeth. With such great velocities coming in opposition, the linear velocity of the lion and the angular velocity of the giraffe, the piece of meat is easily torn from the carcass. When the first giraffe has fed, the system is practiced in reverse.

      And that is how giraffes eat lions.

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    6. I think there’s something hilarious about a pair of giraffes playing catch with a lion at super high speeds across the African tundra.

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    7. @LukeV1-5: You’re a genius.

      Or whatever you are, it’s too much for your own good.

      Are you like this now because you’re drunk? Or are you drunk because you are like this. Or aren’t you even drunk at all and I’m just underestimating your true genius. What the fuck.

      I saved your words by the way. Holy shit.

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    8. @dieAntagonista: Let’s put it this way.

      I’m quite drunk right now.

      But I’d probably have said it anyway.

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    9. @LukeV1-5:

      Your theory would be full of win. But you have disproven it by including magic. We all know that magic only exists in India, where there are no giraffes.

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    10. @multi_masked: Introduced Foreign Species. ’nuff said

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    11. @LukeV1-5: Giraffes have no known predators due to their height and kicking abilities; and, due to their highly evolved intelligence, they’ve learned to convince lions to take comical photos—so they mostly prey on lions by undermining their self-esteem.

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    12. Oooh, ooh… Look at mee!! I’m a lion!!! Hah! That’s Nothing! Look at me!! I’m a Giraffe!! 😛

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