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Time to be shitty
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More than a handful?

2yltyfn 500x363 More than a handful?

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55 Responses to More than a handful?

  1. “Are you in good hands?”

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  2. If I could wear a nice set of hands attached to an attractive man as a bra all the time… I would.

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  3. @Sticky: I didn’t realize Allstate is selling bras now? I guess diversification is key… Or guys are running the business and want to have their “consultants” run all the new “proposals” run by them first.

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  4. @placatedmayhem: And, obviously, the thought of hand-boob action has distorted my proof reading problems. :)

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  5. @outofocus:
    @dieAntagonista:

    Full name
    Adress
    Postcode
    Cellphone#
    Time (when you want to wear your vibrating hands bra)

    26 minutes shipping time

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  6. @ColombianMonkey: That’s the problem with males… they always throw in their idea of what makes something more “fun” (IE: vibrating). I didn’t ask for that. :p

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  7. i know but i provide professional tools for those who demand the best.

    okay vibrating optional (make note in purchase order)

    but i really don’t see it as a problem male or female. it’s me i just want the best for ladies if it’s not the best i will make it the best. my motto

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  8. @outofocus: We’re just trying to help… it’s for you :D

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  9. there is 2 versions. one where i am behind thumb up(picture above) or from front thumbs at bottom

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  10. @ColombianMonkey: I slept with this guy for awhile that would grab my breasts and smash them together (over and over) or he’d “vibrate” them. It hurt like hell and was such a huge turn off. I don’t care if he looked like a 5 year old in a toy store (which was cute the first few times)… Some chicks dig that, I’m sure but … yikes… I think he aged my boobs a whole 5 years!

    @Dublin0: I’ll believe it when it doesn’t seem to do more for him (unspecified male) than for me (and when I say “That doesn’t work for me *at all*”, that it actually stops). If I hear, “Well, other girls like it” one more time, I’m probably go to end up in jail for breaking someone’s nose.

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  11. @outofocus: nooooooo no no i caress and soothe the soul, rough only but (not like your ex) if requested.

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  12. come to think of that why didn’t you punch him the first time !!?!? oooo the cute-ness overwhelmed you:p

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  13. @outofocus: @Dublin0: yea there’s a hefty amount of men and women who used that line, and it’s pretty annoying for real

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  14. @ColombianMonkey: Sleeping with a guy doesn’t equal “ex”. Just to be very specific (because I’m anal like that).

    And I didn’t punch him the first time because I was trying to sort some shit out… I had a terrible relationship before and was trying to “heal” and made the mistake of thinking that that person might be of use to me. He wasn’t so I stopped dealing with him… which seemed more effective than hitting him at the time.

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  15. oh, i’d assume. so it’s fuck-buddy then? either way is still cool but i what i don’t understand is

    because I’m anal like that

    (not to make mockery of you, just really never heard those words combined into a sentence). please elaborate :P

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  16. @ColombianMonkey: I don’t use the term “fuck buddy” since I like having sex, not fucking. I was brought up that fucking is selfish sex… which is fine when people like that but it’s not my thing.

    “anal” as in “anal retentive”… uptight… finicky about the specifics…

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  17. @ColombianMonkey: @outofocus: It’s give and take, there shouldn’t be allot of repetition for wasted efforts, if it doesn’t have a positive result move on to something else…
    as long as everybody finishes, mission accomplished and if they not mission failure, assess and regroup before the next jump.

    Girl’s don’t want to have to ask for it rough every now and then they want to know how wanted they are you can tell right away if it’s the right time for some throw down or not though (you should be able to tell before.)

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  18. @Dublin0: yea but most expect us to read it like it’s on there foreheads on something

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  19. but if she tells me in a original conversation she likes it rough all the time then yea. not some “vibes” it’s annoying.
    @outofocus: i see your perspective, if you never told me i would have never see it like that. (learned something). i dunno if it happen to you but like i had some sex buddy who either they wanted a “relationship” when you just wanted sex and still stay friends.

    or when you have sex with her you and spend more time with her you get attached to her and want a relationship but she doesnt. am i the only one out there?

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  20. @ColombianMonkey:
    “Caveat Emptor” and “Caveat Venditor”
    Bad communication skills strike in bed too, If she fakes a reaction on my behalf to avoid a moment of awkwardness then she can expect the misinterpretation, would be pretty shitty plan of action to egg me on, moan in ecstasy while I’m holding her arms over her head thinking she wants to punch me in the lip for being so aggressive. That said sometimes that love hate competitive thing can get pretty hot

    Yet as it’s not a lesson most don’t want to give instruction, so we are to read the signs before getting to rowdy.

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  21. @Dublin0: And then there are those of us who just don’t like it rough. And I don’t think finishing is the necessary result every time… it honestly gets annoying when guys are so hung up on that… like it’s some sort of knee jerk obligatory thing. It makes me not want to (until they leave the room to take a shower). Orgasm should be a part of it that happens but too much focus on it is a turn off (to me).

    @ColombianMonkey: I have had that in some “friends with benefits” situations… it’s always them wanting more. I specifically chose males who didn’t want relationships and already had someone else (or several someone else’s) they were sleeping with but in the few cases where I tried this, they would drop the other girls and just stick with me… even though I avoided spending too much time with them. I always chose people that I would never, ever be in a relationship with… who I thought were attractive enough but had deal breakers (smokers, christians, etc). I think that’s the trick… if you are someone who is unwilling to compromise on some specific things.

    That last guy didn’t get too attached which was good. I just don’t find the sex in those situations to be worth the effort. I do it better myself and would just rather wait for a situation were practice can make perfect.

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  22. @ColombianMonkey: I had a series of girls where it was never talked about and if the attachment wasn’t mutual I just broke it off… the ones that work really well are the ones you’ve known for a while without a history with.
    A sign that you are dealing with someone who is ready for sex without the deep rooted attachment is talking about other sexual encounters without either party experiencing any feelings of animosity about it.
    When we hold some honesty back in consideration for the persons feelings it’s sends mixed signals, when you realize what a waste of time that was and you figure out how quick and to the point things could have been if you’d of been over-honest from the start things go much easier so make your intentions known.

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  23. *I meant if the desired level of attachment or lack there of wasn’t mutual.

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  24. @Dublin0: I’m so there with you on that one. I don’t believe in withholding and am often accused of being “too honest”. I’d rather someone just know me and visa versa than always be wondering. It’s that “dishonesty = politeness” mentality that undermines relationships and plants seeds of distrust and insecurities and all the bullshit that makes relationships NOT worth the trouble.

    ANd then there are the twits who even when you’re totally honest, just can’t handle it because they’re just too insecure to handle it. I’ve only been involved with one of those and it was really… really… annoying. He could say whatever he wanted but when I was open he’d be all “omg,that’s so gross… omg”. *rolls eyes* That whole male mentality of “I want to be the first one to plow this field” is so primate.

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  25. @outofocus: I can understand that sometimes it’s just not going to happen, but you can pre-focus on it before you start… it’s a good idea to get the glow plug warmed up before you start the ignition on a diesel, things run a little smoother…
    if it takes too long I’m not waiting, NEVER ASK about it. Ideally a girl asks you to wait a minute or wait for her/one more.
    I need to stop all this talk and get home to the wifey stat… one more month

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  26. @outofocus: Know the type, habitual violators of man-law. That’s where bringing up past sexual endeavors is a GREAT screening process.
    The plowing fresh fields is a huge hurdle and it spans out to all ages, I doubt those guys will ever be happy. I tend to believe it’s the rich history and experience that has refined one’s talents and skills in bed, if that experience has resulted in the harboring of something contagious than yeah I’d say those fields were plowed irresponsibly and I’m looking for healthier crops other wise the harvest is in.

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  27. @Dublin0: @outofocus: which is why i have this rule for myself “ColombianMonkey Rule #3 = Communication Before Sex”

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  28. @Dublin0: this is what i pretty much stated. plow fields? harvest? they have there own words. why do we need to use words to words. embarrassment ? i rather straight to the point.

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  29. @Dublin0: I’ve found that talking about stuff doesn’t always lead to an accurate impression as how people think of themselves and their experiences isn’t necessarily fact… especially when dealing with sex and the male perspective, since as you said before, there are women are aren’t open about what they are experiencing.

    I think there is nothing ruder than “faking” pleasure to appease a man’s ego. If I am expected to do the things he likes, then I expect the same of him.

    It’s pretty much a null point now though since I don’t plan on getting into those situations again. Relationships are far easier and the sorts of males I go for for relationships don’t have the issues I’ve been venting about.

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  30. @outofocus: and mis-communication plays a big role in that.

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  31. @ColombianMonkey: Sorry man, it’s just one of my hobbies is a play on words
    @outofocus: Your correct talking about stuff doesn’t always lead to an accurate impression because they won’t always be honest, Your correct relationships while bringing on a slue of deeper complication are easier and much healthier for the conscience.

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  32. *One of my hobbies/past-times is to play on words.

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  33. Stable people have stable relationships, for the most part. Emotionally and mentally stable people are equipped to deal strong relationships, regardless of whether or not that relationship will include sex. I’ve dropped many a potential friend because of their inability to be in a positive relationship. Too many guys can’t get past the ‘sex ain’t gonna happen, I’m married’ notion and too many girls are really clingy. Too many of both sexes are way too emotionally damaged to have mutually beneficial relationships. I already know that I can because I have, several times. I’ve kept most of the friendships I’ve ever made, been nicely married for 25 years and have successfully raised my kids (only one of which is my biological child). The difficult part has been not being overly motherly/psychologist/therapist to everyone I meet. I don’t even realize how much I do that until someone tells me so.

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  34. @nyokki: Congrats on 25 years, your points are always very well structured, and I’m sorry to be the kid covering his mouth giggling about a dirty word but… what is be overly the rapist to everyone you meet mean?

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  35. *What does (sons of death!!! Dublin0)

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  36. @Dublin0: As someone who also tends to end up the therapist to my friends, I grok what nyokki said. It’s very easy to slip into that role instead of setting boundaries and just dropping people who aren’t worth keeping around.

    It’s not dissimilar to the way you went into “explain” mode about the subject of sex in which you basically over explained a subject I’m actually knowledgeable on. Only, therapist mode is often more constructive and less annoying. ;)

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  37. @outofocus: I have been guilty of that in the past, I have a 3 strike policy though… life’s to short to bother with lost causes the only exceptions are VERY close friends and family.

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  38. @outofocus: the explaining was more so my comments didn’t brand me the sexist, one dimensional, monotrack minded, ignorant-savant guy so many of us know.

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  39. @Dublin0: You didn’t come across that way to begin with, at least not to me. Less experienced girls might not agree but eh… they don’t count. :p

    It has taken me a long time to learn when to severe ties. I didn’t have friends growing up and so for awhile just having someone want to hang out with me was enough and when they pissed me off or drained my emotional resources, it could be very difficult to severe ties because I’d be friendless again (except for my online friends which I’ve had consistently since 1988).

    I got to the point in my mid-20′s that my books and my online friends were enough and I’ve been stabbing people with forks ever since… I mean… severing ties.

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  40. s/severe/sever/g

    I’m working on a midterm so my brain is mostly there.

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  41. I’m fucking embarrassed, therapist, not the rapist… dear god I’m getting my video drivers updated

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  42. @Dublin0: lol
    It was difficult to learn to stop raping my friends. I finally learned that it upset the faint-hearted. Needless to say, I don’t need friends like that. Really, what’s a little rape between friends.

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  43. @nyokki: LOL I know right
    “I don’t even realize how much I do that until someone tells me so.”

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  44. @nyokki: hahaha lol!

    You can rape me anytime!

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  45. What no lift and separate jokes….. WHY SO SERIOUS TODAY!
    @Dublin0: One more month? where you stationed?

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  46. @SumoSnipe: oh, it’s you… hope you’re not going to desert on us again like last time…

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  47. @SumoSnipe: In Speicher/Tikrit Iraq until sometime in March.

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  48. @ColombianMonkey: Hey, now, the goat needed medical attention. That’s why I left.
    @Dublin0:Be back in time for March Madness?

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  49. @SumoSnipe: No I’ll step foot on world’s best soil st the tail end but it won’t break my heart to miss it. My team took College Football by storm so at least one of teams went all the way.

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  50. This thread is chock full of WIN. Just for the record, I thought I should mention you guise rock…

    However do not let it go to your heads, or I will follow it up with a mackerel upside the heads of each and every one of you.

    That is all. Kthnxbai.

    Reply

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