How to tell if your cat is plotting to kill you

How to tell if your cat is plotting to kill you

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    14 Responses to How to tell if your cat is plotting to kill you

    1. A (not so) oldie, but a goodie.

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    2. Am I the only person who doesn’t get the “cat throwing up grass” thing? I keep hearing about this but I’ve had cats my entire life and they never do that. They eat the grass and presumably poop it out.

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    3. @outofocus: Wow, that’s odd. We had cats when I was a kid and they were ALWAYS eating grass and throwing up. That’s the only reason a cat will eat grass – it’s like Ipecac to them. The cat has something upsetting its stomach, so it eats some grass deliberately in order to vomit up whatever is irritating it.

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    4. The particular human that cat is plotting against is going to die because he has an inferior computer.

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    5. @NoOneInParticular: I’m not sure that’s true… as grass is a suggested thing to have in the house for cats to graze on, which my cats happily do if I make it available. Course, one of my cats like bananas, apples and what not (the other one doesn’t like anything weird and even if he did, can’t have it because he has IBS so any dietary change is … very bad for my floor, couch, bookshelf, etc).

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    6. I used to keep mint plants around for the kitties to munch on. They love it w/out the freak effects they get w/ catnip. I can’t remember ever noticing a correlation between eating (regular) grass and vomiting, though I have heard that.

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    7. I’ve heard of it, but have only seen it in a way that i couldn’t really relate it to the grass, since there were many cats also munching grass but not throwing up.

      Too much of almost anything can make one throw up.

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    8. My one cat Elbereth absolutely adores white wine. She even has particular tastes, that I’ve irresponsibly tested. She prefers a Riesling over a Chardonnay over most others. Weird ass-cat.

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    9. Easiest way to tell if your cat is plotting to kill you: It’s breathing and has a pulse.

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    10. I HATE IT WHEN MY CAT POOPS OUT GRASS IT HAS EATEN INSTEAD OF THROWING IT UP. FUCK.

      also, cats are really good deep fried with ranch dressing on a hoagy roll. add provolone, lettuce, tomatoes, and a pickle spear. sunchips are a good side dish with kitty cat sammiches.

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    11. @sylvanish:
      You have a very sophisticated cat.
      My kitty won’t eat anything that is human food. Not even tuna out of a can! She eats grass, but doesn’t always throw it up. But she does eat toilet paper.

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    12. My Onizuka is a bit of a food slut, he tries to take anythiing left unguarded. It’s amazing he’s not fat. He is also a psudo-alchoholic, my father-in-law got him started with mead.

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    13. I had a cat that ate peanut butter,

      he was so cool, I miss him

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