Jesus – Santa Clause for grown-ups

Jesus - Santa Clause for grown-ups

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    35 Responses to Jesus – Santa Clause for grown-ups

    1. these blindly neo-pagan renditions of da Christo are so doofy that they just got to be a ‘secret’ joke. Casting the dying-god figure in gilded garb is like either a powerful and self-destructive insult, or a sublime farce. Or both.

      Pagan artists posing as Christians and sabotaging their art FTW. But I s’pose that is what Catholicism is all about. A heartless roman pagan stew over-cooked in a christian croque

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    2. Well that and almost every single painting of Jesus shows him as being white and bearded. There is absolutely no evidence in the bible or elsewhere as to what color Jesus’ skin was. Truth be told jesus could have looked like Yasir Arafat or even osama bin laden.

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    3. Also, tiki i respect that you choose not to believe in god or whatever the hell you don’t believe in; but all this “CHRISTIANS ARE BAD, JESUS IS FAKE LOOK AT HOW STUPID CHRISTIANS ARE” stuff is really beginning to get on my nerves.

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    4. It just needs a verb;  then it’ll be a full sentence.

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    5. @thelotuseater725: Let him. At least it attracts people like Herr Dragon to this site and makes them post. Personally I don’t believe that Jesus was the son of god, but there is definitely evidence that proves that a man by the name of Jesus existed. In fact, I believe most of Jesus’ story is true. Was it a miracle? No. Magic? Definitely not. Like when he healed all those people, it’s perfectly possible, but of course how can you expect such an old scripture to be 100% accurate after such a long time. Unless you have studied the bible in Latin and Hebrew you know only little about what actually happened. James King can suck it.

      And If people are capable of killing their daughters, or believing that the earth is a plate on the back of a turtle, chances are, they would be pretty batshit insane even without any religion.

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    6. @dieAntagonista:

      “but of course how can you expect such an old scripture to be 100% accurate after such a long time. ”

      Especially since the parts about Jesus weren’t written until at least 30-40 years after his death.

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    7. @thelotuseater725: christian ARE bad, and jesus IS fake. It’s all made up shit that some poor caveman told his kids so they would respect him and he wouldn’t have to beat their ass every day.

      or it’s shit that a speaking, burning bush told someone while he was high on LSD

      or it was an Angel dove that came down and gave us 15 10 commandments

      or it was some dude under a tree who reached nirvana.

      or it was some all powerful vengeful god that created the entire universe in 6 days, but had to rest on the seventh, because being all powerful is tiresome.

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    8. @dieA:
      Hey! I don’t want to hear any bad words about Great A’Tuin! Although you forgot the elephants that stand on the turtle and carry the disc.

      If you would excuse me now, I have a feast to attend at the Unseen University.

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    9. Hmm, it’s funny how many people believe that everything in the bible is meant to be taken literally. Even funnier that most of those people seem to be atheists.

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    10. @Goldfinger: Touché. And don’t forget a napkin my friend, I know how messy it can get. /wink

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    11. @Goldfinger: Agreed. But it’s often the Christians who take the bible literally, who cause others to become atheists.

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    12. @Goldfinger: Literalism or allegory are taken as necessary to benefit those who use the Bible to promote their own agenda.

      For example, homosexuality is decried as an abomination in the Bible, and that fact is specifically used as a rallying point by homophobic pastors to goad their megachurch populations into defeating civil laws allowing same-sex unions. But, turn a few pages, and Leviticus also states that adultery is an abomination, as is divorce, and for that matter, eating shellfish or mixing milk and meat. But you don’t hear Rick Warren telling the world that we should legislate action against adulterers. You never hear about Proposition 9, the anti-shellfish law.

      If there is a God, and he turns out to be a giant, black, gay lobster, then we are all screwed.

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    13. @tiki god: I agree.

      We needed religion before proper education and government.
      Now it’s just a cancer in the mind of mankind that needs to go.

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    14. @Tenspace: I’ve got some delicious information for you.

      Did you know that if you read the bible in Hebrew, the whole thing about homosexuality means something completely different? Here’s what it actually says. Back then, the earth was still underpopulated. So if all the men and women who were gay, would have just gotten together with the people they actually loved – it would have probably taken only a minor disease and we would have died out. It was never meant to be interpreted that homosexuality is a sin. In fact, the sin and hell that are mentioned in the bible are metaphorical. If you translate the words that describe hell in the bible from Hebrew into English, it means actually a place of shame. Do you think that even if there is an afterlife that anyone would feel shame after they died? Doesn’t make any sense I know. The hell in the bible is supposed to mean a bad life on earth.

      But of course all of this information is useless, since we have all these false interpretations around, and the god damn King James bible.

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    15. @dieAntagonista: Thanks for the info, but there are two problems with your hypothesis: 1) The Earth was far from underpopulated by humans ~5k years ago. There were an estimated 300-600 million humans living on the planet then (ref: Population Today, Nov/Dec 2002). 2) You fail to provide any reference to your source. Sweetie, I’m a data junkie, so if you want to impress your knowledge upon me, you best back it up.

      Also, being a devout Jew for most of my life (gave it up and became an atheist ten years ago), I am aware of the many differences in translation and interpretation of the Bible. You are correct on your secondary points, specifically that in Judaism/Old Testament, there is no hell.

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    16. Well tenspace, At least you are acting like an educated individual on your dissent with religion. I respect any atheist who backs up what they say with scientific or historical fact. I am wary of the possibility that it may be a falshood and does it change my belief? No, it doesn’t, but it allows me to see the holes in my beliefs and it gives me another perspective to look at myself from.

      @tiki,

      You know what fuck it. there is no getting through to you on this. Arguing with you is like arguing with a racist or holocaust denier.

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    17. @thelotuseater725
      From my experience THAT’s a hell of a lot less fun :/

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    18. @thelotuseater725: Tiki takes the position of a “strong” atheist, as do I. He just exercises brevity, whereas I like to type. I’m sure that if you bought him a beer (or three) he could pontificate until the wee hours on the specifics and historicity of religion. My thoughts are much the same as his, though I feel it’s more the “campfire stories of middle-eastern tribal nomads” than the caveman controlling his offspring. Unless you replace caveman with “those who wield authority”, and offspring with “general population”. In that case, we’re one and the same.

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    19. Not tonight, my friend. I am packing up my bass and heading over to a friend’s house to jam and smoke copious amounts of weed. Tomorrow I shall return.

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    20. @Tenspace: Haha, yea maybe I should have explained that the world wasn’t actually underpopulated, but to them it was. You know what I mean? They had no idea how many people there were on the planet. I knew someone would ask for a source, but the reason why I can’t show any is quite obvious. There would be major drama all over the place if Hebrew scholars would come out and explain the scripture and what it actually means. I think I’ve seen some site a while ago where they talked about this, unfortunately it was in German. Although there was one author, who goes by the name of Dr. Joseph Murphy, who happens to be one of my heroes. And well he touches on this subject and explains a little how there is no actual sin or punishment for it. I just realised that he was quite the determinist.
      Well either way, I obviously can’t prove it to you, though I’m a little surprised since you have been a devout Jew, as you said, for such a long time, yet you’ve never heard of this.

      @thelotuseater725: Aw Lotus. I can’t believe you let him trick you. Can’t you see, he’s being sarcastic. And he probably thought that it might provoke some other theist to freak out on him in the comments. I’m pretty sure you know by now how open-minded tiki is.

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    21. Mmm weed. I think we’d be all best friends if we just smoked some weed together.

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    22. Santa Claus does not end in an e, except when referring to the movie, as far as I know.

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    23. @Twee: But it’s the Santa Clause.

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    24. This comment list makes me happy. For the past three months I’ve been seeing nothing but mass-hysteria in the form of neo-con christians screaming that King James’ God is soft and fake and everyone’s burning in hell except god’s chosen few and I was really starting to think the whole goddamn world just accepted Jesus Christ of Old as their lord and master overnight. I’m not saying those who do are wrong (I’m not saying they’re right, either) but fuck, a little diversity is nice. Keeps those dogmatic zealots from being too nasty.

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    25. @tiki god: I have to disagree Tiki man…

      There is a big difference between saying “Christians are bad” and “There are a lot of bad Christians”. The first is a blanket statement that is guaranteed to be false.
      Neither atheist, agnostic nor theist, of any variety, has a lock on either good or bad.

      There are good people and bad people an any demographic you care to pick out, regardless of how you slice it. The only real difference is how the people justify their acts of evil.

      I have known both absolutely despicable, as well as nauseatingly sweet atheists. The same is true of agnostics and theists. So I know from personal experience, not to label any single group bad, because it is simply not true. It is an over simplistic and self deceptive way of thinking…

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    26. @dieAntagonista: Perhaps you are right about tiki. Maybe i am being over defensive given the hellfire i typically deal with.

      I guarantee Israel and Palestine would bake each other baskets of scones and cookies if everyone just sat down and passed a bong around.

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    27. Religion is bullshit.
      Believers are either morons or fakes.
      And this is no Haiku.

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    28. @Phyreblade: You rock. For having common sense and all, but I’m still sure tiki was only kidding.

      @thelotuseater725: Totally. Weed solves so many problems, it should be smoked by everyone just out of politeness.

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    29. @dieAntagonista: I’ll have to pull out a few of my Jew books and check on that.

      They didn’t tell me there’d be eggnog, which, from here on out I shall call Bailey’s American Cream. On the Eighth Day, God woke up hungover, and invented coffee.

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    30. @dieAntagonista: Yeah, i’ve this nasty habit of biting at trollbait so, who knows… Though I do agree about the weed… I say we all puff, pass and sing Kumbaya… 🙂

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    31. @Phyreblade: Word. Haha and don’t worry, I’m the same if not worse. :>

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