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21 Comments - “Bear Taxi”
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How?
Number one threat to America caught in action.
@bright green: No Wi-Fi in Yellow-stone. Must go to city. (TAXI!!!)
@Asinine: Hardly. If it were a zombie it’d be a lot worse.
Im a weird person. I said id never hunt. but then I said id never say never about doing something, so I decided that I would hunt only under the circumstances that I disappeared into the Yukon for a month with nothing but a knife, a flint, a canteen, and an empty backpack and when I came back, I would be carrying the pelt of a grizzly on my back.
That way, Id make up for all the idiots that go hunting for baby rabbits with machine guns. I probably wouldn’t come back, but if I did, id have a massive taxidermied bear in my living room that id have ONE HELL of a story to tell about.
Bear: Graaaaaaawr rwaaaaaaaaaaaar rwaaaaaaar graaaaaaaaar
Cab Driver: Yes sir,
WHO IS DRIVING CAR? OH MY GOD, BEAR IS DRIVING CAR! HOW CAN THAT BE??!!
Very simple, the bear is Britney Spears.
@camusapprentice: But would you let the bear ride in the passenger seat?
@annarchy: I most certainly would. He would also get a cape and a crown.
@camusapprentice: before or after you shoot and stuff him?
@Annarchy: There you go throwing a kink in my plan. I would much rather have a live bear in my future uber-mansion than a dead one. And adding the cape and the crown to the live bear… that would be fun when I invite people over.
@camusapprentice: You over dramatize the sport of hunting. Wild animals have far superior scenses and survival instincts than humans. If, and I stress IF, you even got to see a grizzly, with your no doubt extraordinary skills of stealth and tracking, you would be instant bear shit.
Bear sez: “Jesus Christ, it’s a lion!! Everybody back in the cab!”
@Lakiamia: For the record, a grizzly would smoke a lion. A single lion that is, or maybe two, but not an entire pride.
@the3g_ipwn: Ya, that instant bear shit think was the point. You are one of those sad people that underdramatizes hunting.
What do you hunt for? Deer? I bet they really posed a personal threat to you so you should have killed them. Oh no, you did it for fun didnt you? well I can kill a kid. They have far greater agility that me and their parents will even the playing field, right?
Hunt if you want, I have nothing against it. I just think you could take more from it than you do. You ease your concious with false statements like “their heightened sense of sound is far more of an edge than my gun.”
If I ever went hunting, in pick prey worthy of a hunt, and I would not go in expecting to survive. Id go in expecting to learn something from my adversary.
Your method is fun if you want to shoot a gun. Im more interested in the experience that is hunting an animal
IT’S A LION, GET IN THE CAR!
OH SHIT, IT’S A BEAR GET OUT OF THE CAR!
IT’S A LION, GET IN THE CAR!
OH SHIT, IT’S A BEAR GET OUT OF THE CAR!
IT’S A LION, GET IN THE CAR!
OH SHIT, IT’S A BEAR GET OUT OF THE CAR!
IT’S A LION, GET IN THE CAR!
OH SHIT, IT’S A BEAR GET OUT OF THE CAR!
IT’S A LION, GET IN THE CAR!
OH SHIT, IT’S A BEAR GET OUT OF THE CAR!
IT’S A LION, GET IN THE CAR!
OH SHIT, IT’S A BEAR GET OUT OF THE CAR!
IT’S A LION, GET IN THE CAR!
OH SHIT, IT’S A BEAR GET OUT OF THE CAR!
∞
bear says: ‘follow that car’
@Dreth: lmao
@Dreth: Repeat till eaten by either bear or lion.
After which:
@aleph: Which car, sir? The Lions or the Tigers?
“Take me to Tim Treadwell’s house, please. We have a dinner date.”