A 5th Grader’s written plans to take over the world

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    33 Responses to A 5th Grader’s written plans to take over the world

    1. Oh… my… god… this just might work…

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    2. I hope this kids parents know to keep him at least a 10 miles away from all firearms when he’s in high school and college.

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    3. LULZZ, why “Step 6: Kill all germans” or Michael Jackson ?

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    4. There was a girl in my son’s 5th grade class who took special pleasure in tormenting him. He wrote a letter outlining how much he hated her and that all sorts of bad things were going to happen to her. He threw the note away without tearing it up and some kid snatched it out of the waste basket, saw the girl’s name on it and gave it to her.

      The school warned my son that they are required to report such notes to the police but that since they knew the note was a harmless expression of frustration that they weren’t going to report him. We just told him that in the future he should rip up the notes or just not write them at school.

      Except for #7 this looks like something my son would write for shits and giggles (he doesn’t care if people are gay).

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    5. For some reason I would suspect a 5th grader would have much better handwriting.

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    6. Im in college and his handwriting is better than mine.

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    7. in b4 the picked on kid guns down his 5th grade class

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    8. @Paul_Is_Drunk: Not these days !

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    9. 1. Write list
      2. Scare everyone
      3. ???
      4. Profit!

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    10. But in all seriousness, I think this could work, this kid is a genius.

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    11. @Elepski: But Dr. Steel loves us all and wants us all to have fun, not blow up everything.

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    12. 12. Do all this before bedtime

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    13. @outofocus: Your son rocks. That’s what I used to do too. And then I put the letter in those envelopes in which they usually send you invitations to funerals. I can’t remember what I did with them afterwards, but this one time, I wrote a letter for this extremely fat girl which would always make fun of me. I’m not sure how, but her older sister found my letter. I got almost suspended. And the headmistress thought I was a sadistic little freak ever since. Good times.

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    14. While I don’t agree with 6 and 10, think he is a little late for 7,8, I’m impressed he has a plan. Most of my friends teenage kids don’t have a plan beyond the coming weekend, and those are usually :
      1-sweet talk way out of being grounded.
      2-Beg mom/dad for cash and ride to mall.
      3-????
      4-Eat,sleep,make mess and blame it on sibling.

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    15. No one will ever believe that Liberace was gay.

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    16. @Sarcastastic:

      Clearly you haven’t heard his new Christmas Special!

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    17. Hey this is my letter I did back in 86. How did you get this???

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    18. It’s important for a kid to have goals.

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    19. Fuck Dr. Steel, THIS is how a real genius thinks.

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    20. @Dreth: Seriously. Dr. Steel is just trying to mainstream a genre. Others have tried before him, he just managed to make it onto MTV.

      @dieAntagonista: lol! I used to write short stories when I was a kid that would start out all nice, like say a story about a librarian and her life wishes and blah blah, and then I’d have the character die a terrible death. The librarian got eaten by a huge rat monster (this was before I knew of Princess Bride). No one ever saw those stories but I’m guessing my mother would not have been surprised since my parents started calling me morbid when I was 6 or 7. heh.

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    21. @The-Penetrator: LULZZ, why “Step 6: Kill all germans” or Michael Jackson ?

      Can’t say on the Germans, unless the kid’s unaware that WWII ended 63 years ago.

      As for Michael Jackson: Jacko is the arch-nemesis of ten year old boys everywhere, a sort of one-man Catholic priesthood.

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    22. That genre sucks, only good thing he has going is the whole image but the campaign and music are idiotic, as well as getting on MTV, in my opinion. Which doesn’t count. But I pretend it does.

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    23. @Dreth: The steam punk genre existed before Dr. Steel. He has been pushing to associate music with the look so that it becomes a musical genre.

      His music is ok. It’s interesting but it’s not interesting enough for me to even bother torrenting it.

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    24. @outofocus:
      Haha sweet. I bet I would have loved those stories. I’ve been called morbid too because of my stories and drawings at that time. (:

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    25. I was called away from class to deal w/ #1 son’s music lyrics that he had written in a notebook for his writing (lyrics, short stories, bad poetry, etc…). It was ridiculous, t was clearly not even a “plan”, just lyrics that were suitably violent for metal.

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    26. I’m pretty sure that’s Al Gore’s handwriting..

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    27. Leave germans alone and change step 6 to:
      6) Kill Dutch

      change steps 7, 8 and 9 to:
      7) Prove Who in the world is gay
      8) Kill the gays of the world
      9) Eat Pudding

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    28. 10) Let rabid hyenas rape GermanKommissar as he is a narrow minded little turd nugget.
      11) Give GermanKommissar pudding to eat.
      12) Tell GermanKommissar pudding was made from stuff scraped off the floor of a gay bathhouse.
      13) Laugh, laugh, laugh.

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