9000 Penises On The Internet

9000 Penises On The Internet



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    8870949

    That’s right bitches.
    We’re bigger than Oprah.

    dieAntagonista

    What! Is that true? Fuck I didn’t even know.

    Dondivad

    “Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his power level?”
    “It’s over 9000!!!”

    SumoSnipe

    That pose…. all that is missing is the magic horned helmet.

    Darkstorm

    dieAntagonista:

    here ya go

    Don’t watch it when drinking anything.

    nyoki

    Holy shit! That is too fuckin funny. Don’t these people know about the Google?

    dieAntagonista

    Bahaha. Thank you Darkstorm, that made my day. See, things like that make me question why I don’t have a TV.

    And I’m pretty sure they know about the Google, but they probably care more about the Moneys from the Views they get.
    Or Oprah decided she’s gonna say that on her show and is as dumb as a pillow.

    natedog

    NOW THIS IS A STORY ALL ABOUT HOW MY SHI­T GOT FLIPPED, TURNED UPSIDE DOWN. AND I’D LIKE TO TAKE A MINUTE, JUST SIT RIGHT THERE; I’LL TELL YOU HOW I BECAME THE QUEEN OF DAYTIME TALKSHOWS ON THE AIR.

    IIIIIIIIIIIN KOSCUISKO, MISSISSIPPI BORN AND RAISED; A FAT N­IG­GE­R BITCH IS HOW I SPENT MOST OF MY DAYS. CHILLIN OUT, MAXIN, RELAXIN ALL COOL AND SHOOTING A MOVIE CALLED THE COLOR PURPLE.

    WHEN A COUPLE OF /b/TARDS WHO WERE UP TO NO GOOD STARTED MAKING TROUBLE IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD. I FOUGHT OVER 9000 PENISES AND THEN I GOT SCARED; I SAID TO LEARN HOW TO RAPE CHILDREN, THERE’S A MANUAL RIGHT THERE.

    I WHISTLED FOR THE FEDS, AND WHEN THEY CAME NEAR, I SAID LOOK AT THE COMMENTS THOSE PERVERTS LEFT HERE. IF ANYTHING I WOULD SAY THAT THIS BITCH WAS RARE, BUT I THOUGHT, NO FORGET IT-YO STEDMAN, TO O’HARE!

    I PULLED UP TO THE SHOW ABOUT 7 OR 8 AND I YELLED OT MY HENCHMEN TO SHUT THE FUCKING GATE. I LOOKED AT MY KINGDOM. I WAS FINALLY THERE, TO SIT ON MY THRONE, AS THE QUEEN OF THE AIR

    nyoki

    natedog: Hahah, even got some rhyming in.

    nyoki

    Oh and check this.

    Pants

    She’s open for a massive shot right there

    dieAntagonista

    nyokki: I can’t stop watching it. It’s like the Japanese MC Donalds remix video, you just can’t stop.

    natedog: Fucking win right there.

    TheLotusEater725

    Oh man that was great. That is one of the few things i have ever seriously used the phrase “epic win” for.

    Recondomoe

    I’m sure no one will believe me, so I don’t know why even I’m posting this, but:
    I fucked her.
    It was almost exactly a year ago. I was visiting a friend who goes to law school at UCLA. We went out to a salsa club (which is one of the few non-nerdy I do well). After dancing a bit, she told me her name and there was a pause, like I should be impressed, and she said, “you know, from The Windy City?”. And was I was like, “Yeah, I’m from Cicero.” and she laughed. So ended up going back to my friend’s apartment, drank some wine, then he took his girlfriend home, and well…
    Anyway, I didn’t realize who she was until I got home and tried to look-up her number on-line.
    I think I’ve still got some picture on my old cell phone. I’ll check when I get home.

    greytone

    Parentheses are all fucked up.

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