20 Stone Sumo Girl

sumo girl.jpg (88 KB)

At the age of 14 and weighing in at 20 stone, Samantha-Jane Stacey is born to be a sumo wrestler.
She will be aiming for sporting glory as the youngest Australian to participate in the world wrestling sumo championships this month in Estonia.
Much focus will be on the championships after the sport, plagued with recent scandals, was hit with yet another controversy as three wrestlers admitted beating up a junior trainee who later died.
Born to wrestle: Samantha-Jane will represent Australia at the world sumo championships in Estonia this month.
The sport has also been hit with drugs and match-fixing scandals recently.
But none of that bothers Samantha-Jane.
Affectionately known as ‘Sammy Sumo’, she trains on a diet of Weetbix and lasagna.
Samantha-Jane says she is ‘really proud to represent’ her country but at the moment is more worried about getting through the 32-hour flight.

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    25 Responses to 20 Stone Sumo Girl

    1. I just yaked back into my beer. Thanks a fucking bunch garbled. You owe me a round.

      Reply

    2. What kind of substance abuse could occur in sumo wrestling?

      Injections of pure lard? Hamburger suppositories?

      Also: what the fuck is that argh argh my eyes what have you done

      Reply

    3. Meh, she’s only 280lbs, most American kids weigh that.

      Reply

    4. It isn’t here waist line that most repulses me, it’s the John Goodman’s ass crack-sized camel toe she’s sporting which emptied the contents of my stomach.

      Reply

    5. that’s not a camel toe

      not sure even moose knuckle is the right description

      it’s like concentric twin jabbas or some shit

      Reply

    6. “The sport has also been hit with drugs and match-fixing scandals recently.”

      NO ONE CARES

      Reply

    7. @casemods: by “drugs” they mean weed.

      wtf. weed? yeah, not really a drug there guys

      Reply

    8. @tiki god: well it’s still considered a drug.

      Reply

    9. @the3g_ipwn: Come on, be nice, it’s just her face man.

      Also, her biggest concern shouldn’t be the flight, it should be the risk of heart disease killing her during that time span.

      Reply

    10. That sumo diaper thing she’s wearing?
      I thought that was her belly hanging over the pants.
      Like a huge gigantic pale fat flap, it even looks like it has a belly button.

      Reply

    11. @casemods: by who? some right wing piece of shit cock sucker that no one gives a shit about?
      fuck, might as well outlaw caffine.

      Reply

    12. I can’t believe Japanese people still watch sumo as if it were hockey or basketball.

      Have you ever seen a sumo match. It’s like thirty minutes of ceremonial preparation between matches, and then one minute of fighting. So basically you’re just watching fat guys stand around for hours at a time.

      Reply

    13. 20 “stone”? Huh?

      What’s that in pounds?

      Reply

    14. She’s *kinda* underage (if not weight) guys, so you’re safe, right?! :p

      Reply

    15. This should be considered child abuse. That anyone would let their children get fat enough to decide that sumo wrestling is an acceptable career path… is just … grrrr.

      Reply

    16. @LukeV1-5:

      HAHAHA oh god, I just spilled my Rice Krispies all over my dog laughing at that one… LMAO.

      I think we can ALL imagine how lovely hamburger suppositories would be…

      Reply

    17. I think

      And this isn’t a great plan, but it’s an OK plan

      That we should kill

      All the Australians.

      Just for the fun of it.

      Reply

    18. 14 years old, 280lbs… Let me channel Mr. Dooves here for a bit and say: This is not healthy.
      Her parents really need to be shot.

      Reply

    19. @Phyreblade: $20 says she’s cleaner then my x

      Reply

    20. The harpoons:
      you must man them!

      Reply

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