Guitar Praise

guitarpraise428.gif (36 KB)

And yea, the LORD did say unto his people, “Take this wicked plastic guitar and use it to shred to songs that reflect Christian values.”

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    32 Responses to Guitar Praise

    1. Actually, it would probably have Creed, Flyleaf and Paramore on the setlist. Why are there no Creed songs in rockband, anyway? Some of those would probably be pretty fun.

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    2. Oh snap, I just googled and this is a real product. I thought it was a photoshopped image. The image was too small to tell.

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    3. @suicydking- What no Stryper or Zebra?

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    4. store.digitalpraise.com/guitarpraise-2.aspx

      “Crank it up and try again – you’ll soon be rockin’
      with the best while praising the Lord!” lolz

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    5. It’s not like it’s any more retarded than Rock Band or Guitar Hero.

      If you’re going to spend a hundred dollars, buy a real instrument, folks.

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    6. We’ll be sure to ask you if we can have fun from now on, yawn, since you’re the authority. Do you tell people who play Call of Duty to go buy a real gun also?

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    7. @suicydking
      for reals. cod4 is the reason I bought my ak-47

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    8. everything is more fun with real guns

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    9. Pressing buttons is not my idea of fun.

      Go with a real gun, and shoot down some pigs.

      In lipstick.

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    10. @suicydking

      why the hell would paramore be on there?

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    11. @yawn: $100 will not buy a real instrument

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    12. @natedog: $100 is how much I spent for my instrument, and it’s quite real.

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    13. 100 dollars will get you a Fender Squire. Which is probably worse than a plastic guitar. I’m assuming you’re talking about a guitar.

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    14. 100 bucks can get you a fairly decent used electric guitar. Fender Strats have gone for that little in some of the shops here. They may not look like much, but they still sound a-okay.

      Also of note: I consider myself a Christian… and products like this make me want to find whoever made them and shoot them in the face.

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    15. My $100 is obviously pretty shitty; but it is a real instrument; it is completely playable; and I’ve used it just fine for three years.

      It’s certainly more helpful in learning guitar than a game controller, considering, well, that it’s a guitar.

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    16. Yawn I think you’re missing the point: the guitar is the dead horse of instruments. The only possible purpose it can serve is imitating the good old days when the guitar wasn’t comepletely passé.

      For the purposes of playing ‘stairway’ and ‘purple haze’ video game guitars are perfectly acceptable.

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    17. I don’t play guitar to play cliche songs like ‘stairway’ and ‘purple haze’.

      Playing those two songs on Guitar Hero is even more nauseating them playing them in real life.

      Anyways, I primarily write music, and not just for guitar.

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    18. @Yawn
      How about you let other people have fun how they want and shut the fuck up about stuff that’s not your goddamned business?

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    19. Let me guess, yawn. You primarily write indie rock/heavy metal/garage revival/whatever other neo-rock/blues genre that takes old riffs from approximately sever months before you were born, diminishes a chord, and adds some ironic lyrics.

      Gotta say I’m impressed with your creativity, etc etc. I’m sure your minor chord rewrite of purple haze as ‘purple nurple’ or whatever will make the critics go insane.

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    20. @Tyger42: Sorry, I didn’t realize you take your video games so seriously. -_-

      @Caio: Actually, if you want to hear music I’ve written, go ahead and click on my username.

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    21. @Yawn

      I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you took other people’s business so seriously.
      I didn’t say anything about taking games seriously. Just that you’re being a jackass over something that doesn’t affect you at all. Get over yourself.

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    22. Really, the problem would just be solved if the mainstream iterations of this type of game would broaden the spectrum of music included in their titles, so that crappy knock-offs like this wouldn’t have to be made in response to the mainstream’s “Godless” secular sensationalism.

      There are a lot of very talented Christian bands who should have a seat in such games as Guitar Hero and Rock Band because it’s good music, and it’s fun music. Skillet, Switchfoot, Relient K, Five Iron Frenzy, and P.O.D. are good examples of what I’m talking about.

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    23. @Tyger42: I’m sure you’ve seen this on the internet before, and it’s probably even happened to you. You make a casual comment, and then someone responds to it, expecting you to respond, and so you do. Eventually the people you’re responding to get the idea that this really matters to you, when really you’re just making all these posts to respond to everyone else’s responses.

      In short, I don’t give a shit how you have your fun. I certainly don’t lose any sleep over it. Cool down and don’t take things so personally.

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    24. Shut the fuck up Jhost: Christian rock is nothing but vomiting out secular culture with a Christian glean in a pathetic attempt to shelter children from cultural dialogue. If anything it’s an insult to Christianity that it’s “faithful” have to steal from Weezer as if to imply that their music -which they don’t even take serious- is somehow more persuasive than what is supposed to be objective and divine truth.

      tl;dr Even Christian home-schooled kids should be smart enough to see through crass and bland marketing. And if not Christianity has failed.

      @yawn: I downloaded your songs. Will listen sometime today.

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    25. Ugh, why do the fucking Christians have to stick their hands in everything? Why?

      Oh, and $100 can get you a real instrument, maybe not new, but it’s called going to garage sales and flea markets. I’ve known people who’ve gotten nice guitars for nothing because people don’t know what they have.

      Guitar hero is just so pointless to me.

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    26. HOW TO BE A CHRISTIAN ROCK STAR

      1) Take a song that was popular last decade. In this case “Smells Like Teen Spirit”

      2) Replace as many pronouns, verbs and nouns possible with theological jargon. You can keep the same particles and determiners though.

      Cuz the Rapture is so dangerous
      Here we are now, anabaptize us
      I feel His homoousia, and religious
      here we are now, anabaptize us

      3) Sell to homeschooling parents who are concerned that baggy pants might be prohibited in the bible somewhere, but haven’t actually read the book so would know.

      4) ????

      5) Prophet!

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    27. @Caio: All I’m saying is that there is some good Christian music, and that it shouldn’t be excluded simply on the basis that the band is pandering to a Christian audience. It should be excluded if it’s not good music.

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    28. There is not now, nor has there ever been anything in existence that could possibly be described as both “christian” and “rock” at the same time. It’s one or the other. Face it, it’s just a product that’s designed to sate those that aren’t allowed to listen to any real music. It’s pablum.

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    29. Oh, and until you know how to play it, a $100 guitar is more than enough for anyone. You don’t want to destroy a good one while you’re “practicing”.

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    30. @AlecDalek: A music genre is not defined by its lyrics. What about a rock song that’s spiritual and inspirational, but not Christian? What about a rock song that’s angry and bitter, but Christian? If it has the instrumentation and characteristic playing techniques, it’s rock. People who bring their own subjectivity into the domain of art critique are really missing the point.

      Reply

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