This is what Christian actually believe
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(24 votes, average: 3.92 out of 5)You need to be a registered member to rate this post.
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September 6, 2008 at 1:02 am
YEAH THAT’LL SHOW THOSE DAMN DIRTY CHRISTIANS. WHO THE FUCK GAVE THEM THE RIGHT TO BELIEVE IN WHAT THEY WANT ANYWAYS?
September 6, 2008 at 1:05 am
Now why don`t you folks grow a spine and do some of your magic on Islam?I`m dead serious,I dare you.Anyone?
September 6, 2008 at 1:13 am
Or Jews , Or Hindus, Or satanists. OH WAIT THAT WOULD BE POLITICALLY INCORRECT!
September 6, 2008 at 1:20 am
There’s a creation museum in Tennesee that has a display and tells how this actually worked. I’d be interested to see it. On ACID.
September 6, 2008 at 1:20 am
or shrooms…
September 6, 2008 at 1:20 am
oh man, hindu humor wasn’t even on my radar.
it is now though. Time to find images with funny macros about reincarnation.
also: generally satanists just aren’t funny, unless they’ve been touched by The Warp
September 6, 2008 at 1:23 am
Snakes can talk too.
September 6, 2008 at 1:32 am
HAHAHAHAHA, I LOVE THIS PIC.
September 6, 2008 at 1:46 am
I never could quite figure it out. Did the penguins swim from the south pole to get into the ark? Did the ark have a walk in freezer, and the penguins and polar bears have to share? Or did they have separate little coolers for each of them? How did the kangaroos and koalas get to the middle east? How did they get BACK to Australia? Also, who’s job was it to shovel out all the poop?
September 6, 2008 at 1:56 am
lions and tigers and bears… oh my!
September 6, 2008 at 2:09 am
Here’s one for you… two of each, eh… what did the polar bears eat?.. or the Lions and Tigers? How about the fresh waster fish… because the flood water would have been salt water….
I could shoot holes in this all day… with a S.A.W!
September 6, 2008 at 2:41 am
@ otuseater725 & mikoyangurevich15,
the only religions people around here will ridicule is Christanity and Scientilogy. I guess it safer than going after religious nutbags that would kill you for slander.
September 6, 2008 at 2:51 am
@Gor
Zeus fucked Palins daughter. Don’t forget Greek Mythology.
September 6, 2008 at 2:56 am
What?
September 6, 2008 at 3:19 am
This is just the tip of the proverbial iceberg of crazy shit christians believe.
Bears may eat you if you make fun of bald prophets.
September 6, 2008 at 3:48 am
IT’S WHAT THEY BELIEVE
IT’S NOT SAYING IT’S BAD OR WRONG
SUCK IT UP, EVERYONE ELSE HAS BEEN TAKING SHIT FOR YEARS
September 6, 2008 at 4:08 am
Why are you unlashing the ‘fucking fury’? Nobody said it is was bad or wron, why all caps?
September 6, 2008 at 4:31 am
I actually kind of liked that movie.
September 6, 2008 at 4:38 am
Well, certain Protestant’s, maybe. The Catholic Church’s official position is that modern science and the theory of evolution do not conflict with religious teachings, and evolution is actually taught in Catholic schools. According to my 70-year old Irish Catholic mother, the Church’s position on most of the Old Testament is that it’s mostly parables made up to explain concepts to people with less scientific understanding than the average modern grade schooler.
What lesson we’re supposed to learn from Noah’s Ark, I don’t know. ‘Do what God says or he’ll kill everybody’, maybe?
September 6, 2008 at 4:39 am
*Protestants. Damn apostrophes, always sneaking in where they’re not welcome.
September 6, 2008 at 6:36 am
“the only religions people around here will ridicule is Christanity and Scientilogy. I guess it safer than going after religious nutbags that would kill you for slander.”
And that’s what makes it so damn silly. So I guess if Christians really WERE those violent crusading blood-drinking maniacs they are cracked up to be (because religoon is eevuuul) you wouldn’t make fun of them, too, right?
September 6, 2008 at 6:44 am
thelotuseater: AFAIK, this is what Jews actually believe too – Noah’s Ark is described in Book of Genesis, that is part of Torah. There’s something about Noah in Islam too, but I’n not quite sure. Satanists? Who cares about them?
Besides, where are Raptors?
September 6, 2008 at 9:04 am
@AgZed
That’s pretty much my view on the Bible as a whole. Parables and “enhancements” of events. Many myths have basis in truth, but either the re-tellings over the centuries or the lack of understanding of the time skewed by superstitions turn it into something far more than what it was.
I’m not a Christian, but I have no problem with the religion. Heck, I don’t even have a problem with Scientology. It’s silly, but if that’s what people wanna believe, have at it. The organized church of Scientology, however, is a bunch of money-grubbing con artists…
September 6, 2008 at 9:11 am
In before RIXOR or whoever the shit that guy is starts reciting Martin Luther at that Catholic comment up there.
September 6, 2008 at 9:20 am
Actually the Bible says it was 2 of every animal AND 7 of every animal. Research has shown that the “biblical” account was actually the combination of two separate legends. Sorta like how the whole “virgin birth” was ripped off from Mithras and other earlier religions.
Ultimately the entire story is questionable. I mean it says that a perfect being made a mistake (the human race was evil), and then made another mistake (killed off all but a few humans, but didn’t make any fundamental changes to their nature).
So the flood story is actually an insult to God!
September 6, 2008 at 9:34 am
Not necessarily ‘ripping off’, Alek. Religions synchronism on geographical lines is insanely common. Mithraism (properly a form of Zoroastrianism) came from the Persians, who ruled the Persian-friendly Jews for a few hundred years, right around the time (probably) then the Tanakh was being standardized. We’re used to rigid, modern Abrahamist religions but for most humans in history, sharing elements of religion is common. Nothing wrong with it.
Just as an example, there are Hindu gods (ie Yama)recognized in Japan and Korea, which have no real Hindu tradition. Likewise if you look at the religion of the Native North Americans you’ll notice that the various gods and legends could be fitted across maps like overlapping amoeba rather than forming in strict lines a la modern Abrahamistic religions. Commonest thing in the world.
September 6, 2008 at 12:23 pm
We’re making fun of Christianity because some 70% of Americans believe in it. That means if you were to get into a religious argument with someone, 7/10 times will it be trying to reinforce this point of view.
tl;dr OMGSHUT UP RELIGION SUX OMFGBBQ RANDUM!!1!
September 6, 2008 at 12:46 pm
You should add Islam into the group of those that believe the Great Flood/Ark was an actual event. So I guess that makes it, what, 99.99% of the world that believes this? That means it can’t be true, right?
September 6, 2008 at 12:52 pm
If you believe in teh ark story you must be pretty retarded.
September 6, 2008 at 12:53 pm
Hahahahhahahaa Spindoctor is right. This thread has just been won hardcore.
September 6, 2008 at 12:54 pm
Seriously all the inflated rage up there about “why don’t you make fun of muslims”
Seriously, spindoctor, that was awesome, I want to send you money.
September 6, 2008 at 1:03 pm
Muslims believe this too.
Islam, Christianity, and Judaism are branches of the same tree. They all worship the same god, the “God of Abraham.”
They are all WAY more alike than most people realize.
You gotta admit though, the Noah story isn’t any sillier than the Scientologists’ Xenu story.
September 6, 2008 at 1:31 pm
in before internet religious debate.
September 6, 2008 at 2:22 pm
Make it 99.9999999%. I’m throwing Satanists into the lot. Satanists believe every single point of the Bible except the last few pages. The Armageddon winner.
September 6, 2008 at 2:49 pm
@Kidrythm
Too late…
September 6, 2008 at 5:31 pm
Quite a few cultures & religions have a version of the flood story. There are of course lots of contradictions between them. Might be why they have yet to actually locate the remains of it.
September 6, 2008 at 5:56 pm
If the ark did exist, I would have been thousands of years ago, was made of wood, therefore, its probably in my gas tank.
September 6, 2008 at 8:38 pm
spindoctur and the3g_ipwn fail hard at math. There’s about 2 billion Christians and about 1 billion Muslims. That’s less than half of the world that believes in the Noah Flood story.
September 6, 2008 at 8:40 pm
@AlecDalek
Many cultures have a flood story, but not the same flood story. This shouldn’t be surprising since most advanced cultures also tend to develop along major rivers, which all tend to flood periodically.
September 6, 2008 at 10:59 pm
“the only religions people around here will ridicule is Christanity and Scientilogy. I guess it safer than going after religious nutbags that would kill you for slander.”
You’re right, it IS safer.
Your point?
September 6, 2008 at 11:11 pm
Yeah but Noah is in the Quran. lololololololol
September 7, 2008 at 10:51 am
@reboot via Caio:
Yeah douchebag!