Don’t piss your smoke on me!

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PLEASE DON’T SMOKE

Cigarette smoke is the residue of your pleasure.
It fouls the air, my clothes, hair and lungs without my consent.
I too have pleasures. One of which is beer.
The residue of beer is urine.
Would you be annoyed if I stood on a chair
and pissed on your head and clothes without your consent?

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    13 Responses to Don’t piss your smoke on me!

    1. I too have pleasures. One of which is food.
      The residue of food is shit.
      Would you be annoyed if I stood on a chair and took a massive colon blow on your head and clothes without your consent? Even if you were German?

      Reply

    2. There’s almost as much money to be made in government grants for being anti smoking as there is in manufacturing cigarettes now.

      Kind of like there’s money to be had in alternative fuels.

      The lesson is if you can’t beat them or join them just demonize them to the cry baby public and then convince said cry baby public to buy your equally bullshit alternative.

      Don’t smoke. Watch our ads instead. We’re freedom fighters in BMWs.

      Don’t drive BMWs yourself though they’re bad. Drive this hybrid instead. I know they’re great because they run on the batteries I have substantial money invested in.

      Do your part. Give me money.

      Reply

    3. so, what you’re saying is…that the cake is a lie?

      Reply

    4. That’s too weird. I just told gudis in another thread to go get is some cake while he reads up on what a socialist is.

      The cake is not only a lie…its a psychic force governing our every move.

      Reply

    5. That boy needs a lot more than cake if he’s to have any chance of making it in the world.

      Reply

    6. Man there is a huuuuuuuge difference between second hand smoke and urine. anti-smokers piss me the fuck off. Pompous fags.

      Reply

    7. Smokers piss me off. Inconsiderate fags.

      You are right, its not the same, but its still bad.

      Reply

    8. I’m an anti-smoker and I’ve never said anything that stupid before.

      If someone peed on me, I’d break their nose. I’ve never done that to a smoker for smoking.

      Reply

    9. I fell a compulsion to piss on that sign.

      Reply

    10. I smoke, but I try to be considerate about it. I never smoke indoors (not a fan of the smell of stale smoke anyway), I stand far enough away from buildings for it not to drift back inside, I always try to stand away from people, and despite being 6ft5in, I always blow my smoke upwards to minimize the odds of someone catching a smoke cloud to the face, but some people are just dicks.

      I was waiting for the bus yesterday, but I stood outside the empty bus shelter anyway, because I wanted to have a smoke. The shelter is a good 30 feet long, and I was standing at the far end, furthest from the pole where the bus actually stops. About halfway through my smoke, some perma-cranky, 40-something woman arrives on the far side of the shelter, walks all the way down to my end, sits down, and promptly starts bitching at me to put out my cigarette because the smell was bothering her.

      At that point I decided the bounds of courtesy had been crossed, and provided her with a detailed list of suggestions for occupying her time that didn’t involve pestering me. She worldlessly moved to the other side of the shelter, then when the bus showed up she told the driver not to let me on because I’d smoke on the bus. Fortunately the driver was the same one I’ve seen nearly every day for the last two years, so when I told him she was a psycho who’d been harrassing me, he made her get off and wait for the next boss.

      Now she’s probably at home telling her cats what inconsiderate assholes smokers are.

      Reply

    11. @thelotus
      Your comment taken literally restates sign. Anti-smokers piss you off. Which in doing so, as a second hand effect, would likely extinguish the smoke.

      Reply

    12. I’m gonna have to go with Agzed. I’m a pretty heavy smoker, but it’s rude to smoke around people who don’t want to be breathing in smoke.

      Yeah, Magnus is right (I’m reluctantly conceding) in saying that the nutjob activists who make retardo TV commercials push it to far.

      But that’s a lot different from some restaurant that doesn’t want you to smoke on their porch. You gotta respect that.

      Also I’m pretty sure the sign is meant to be funny, not literal.

      Reply

    13. Tobacco should remain completely legal, just keep the smoke to yourself.

      Reply

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