fishbender — June 1, 2008 @ 12:06 am

Mr. Baconhead is full of win. Throw in a Mr. Egghead and you’ve got a winning combination.

I love bacon.

ohmybob — June 1, 2008 @ 12:29 am

I prefer sausage, actually. Does that mean there’s something wrong with me?

nyoki — June 1, 2008 @ 1:25 am

Yick, i mean yumm, or yick.

hvymetal86 — June 1, 2008 @ 2:04 am

@ohmybob

That depends on where and how you like your sausage.

GorillaMunch — May 31, 2008 @ 11:51 pm

poor bastard

TrayShadix — June 1, 2008 @ 1:16 am

One one hand he makes me really sad…because he’s trying to make people happy…

But on the other hand I bet there’s candy in that rundown van he showed up in….

Pants — June 1, 2008 @ 3:57 am

lol he almost has a boner

gravmark — June 1, 2008 @ 7:48 am

Rape is imminent.

phil — May 31, 2008 @ 9:06 pm

With the gun, she could probably kill her overbearing possessive father who’s probably been raping her since she was twelve.

elzarcothepale — May 31, 2008 @ 9:16 pm

the condom.
any self respecting rapist could disarm a girl.
the gun and phone are just things to piss him off- beg for the condom and maybe you don’t die

Camiam321 — May 31, 2008 @ 9:17 pm

@ elzarcothepale

true. heh heh

hellb0y666 — May 31, 2008 @ 9:43 pm

condom with teeth…always works!

Lord_Gorlock — May 31, 2008 @ 9:53 pm

Yes, because most girls love carrying around loaded 9mm’s as an accessory.

PenguinBob — May 31, 2008 @ 9:54 pm

I really think a well timed air strike would be the most effective.

asdf — May 31, 2008 @ 10:46 pm

the church to teach the rapist morals

merthsoft — May 31, 2008 @ 10:53 pm

@phil:
Ah, what? Where are you getting this shit about the father being whatever? Is it ’cause he cares about his daughter? I’m confused.

gudis — May 31, 2008 @ 11:06 pm

It’s the Oleg Volk hit parade!
I vote Glock.

Mayyday — May 31, 2008 @ 11:45 pm

What the hell is she doing the the rapist part of town? That’s right. Bitch was ASKING for it!

Kendo_Bunny — May 31, 2008 @ 11:59 pm

If she’s a good shot he couldn’t.

And I certainly love carrying my .38 revolver as an accessory. My holster matches my purse.

Abide — June 1, 2008 @ 12:00 am

I’m gonna have to go with the condom here. Have you ever shot a rapist with AIDs with a .45? that infected blood goes EVERYWHERE so unless the glock comes with a hazmat suit. yep condom

tiki god — June 1, 2008 @ 12:02 am

@abide

generally you want to do the shooting before he’s actually right on top of you, but yeah. Only when was the last time you heard of a potential rapee drinking the spilled blood of her attacker?

Kero — June 1, 2008 @ 1:07 am

i’m going to say the rapist with aids.

That was at least every time she gets raped after that she kills her rapist

TrayShadix — June 1, 2008 @ 1:15 am

These things are starting to piss me off. It’s like the Family Guy with the lawyer asking:

What describes Brian better? Sexual deviant or magic picture that if you stare at it long enough, you see something?

the_redstar_swl — June 1, 2008 @ 1:57 am

Everybody knows only the gay rapists have the AIDS.

rattybad — June 1, 2008 @ 2:12 am

@tiki…But if you shoot him before he’s right on top of you, how do you know he’s a rapist?

Answer: all men are rapists. (I took a women’s lit course.)

Kendo_Bunny — June 1, 2008 @ 3:04 am

rattybad: It’s not too difficult to tell if someone is coming at you with intent to assault. They may not have had rape on their minds- they may have just wanted to rob or simply beat you, but why take that chance?

kaztheberserk — June 1, 2008 @ 3:46 am

Yeah, generally, drawing a gun on someone (whether or not they have an intent to harm you) should cause them to back off. If they continue towards you, then this person is probably not in the best mental state, and once you are SURE that they are coming at you (IE. you change course BACKWARDS and DRAWING A WEAPON, and they follow you), it’s a pretty safe bet to take out a leg.

Thrella — June 1, 2008 @ 9:57 am

Condom. I’m sure if i was Mcguyver i could make like a bomb out of it and destroy 2 blocks and every rapist there, while using the other half of the condom as a glider/parachute to fly out of the explosion.

Duh

teezy weezy — June 1, 2008 @ 10:10 am

Do many rapists use condoms? Must be a better class of rapist than we have over here.
Think the phone could be some use, it looks the size of a brick so that would be the second choice after the gun.

Lakiamia — June 1, 2008 @ 12:02 pm

I’d have to go with the gun. It may be messy, but the AIDS virus dies within seconds of being outside the human body. Just don’t miss and hit the condom in his wallet, because then you have a pissed off rapist with AIDS and a condom with a gaping bullet hole in it.

Tony — June 1, 2008 @ 12:08 pm

@ kaztheberserk
I’m sure you mean well with the leg shot, but unless you are trained to shoot to disable, I would say just aim for center mass, no matter what the distance is.

Sneaky Snake — June 1, 2008 @ 12:12 pm

I would just beat my children regularly so they aren’t pretty enough to rape.

Ugly bitches dont get raped.

fortyseven — June 1, 2008 @ 12:50 pm

It says best for her HEALTH

What if the contaminated AIDS blood of the rapist splatters all over her?

Kendo_Bunny — June 1, 2008 @ 3:05 pm

Fortyseven: With that caliber? It would really only be an issue if he was directly on top of her when she shot him in the head, and her mouth was wide open or she was covered with open wounds.

acid_monkey1 — June 2, 2008 @ 10:35 am

the answer is more simple: none of it will help her if the raptist attack her from the back she wont be able to use the gun or the phone (obviously the condome is out of question here).
@ sneaky snake even ugly bitches get raped it is not the sexual act what drives this people is the agresion and the abuse and the huiliation.

peach — June 2, 2008 @ 11:33 am

According to the map you know he’s a rapist and where he lives- so go take him out already.

colin — June 2, 2008 @ 6:53 pm

ok. what the hell?
you do realize the rapist would more than likely brick inside of the victim.
so what if the blood splatters allover the place? she would still get aids either way right?

aeneimia — September 27, 2008 @ 11:27 am

THE GUN, shoot the pile point blank kinda hard to mess that up. you can take courses on gun control. Ive never heard of a raper taking condom control! The cops to busy mowing down a frickin donut, and is she really going to have the opportunity to put the condom on for him?

Gunface01 — May 31, 2008 @ 8:14 pm

It’s no use explaining so I won’t comment.

Wait, shit.

asdf — May 31, 2008 @ 11:04 pm

lol at cover ups don’t covered up stories usually require lots of faith because they lack sufficient proof…

LukeV1-5 — June 1, 2008 @ 6:08 am

Who did they usurp?

Holy shit, MIND CONTROL!

The church is a supervillain!

AlecDalek — June 1, 2008 @ 10:07 am

I’m surprised. I expected to see half a dozen posts on here from religious apologists trying to explain how their one particular religion is okay, and it’s all those other religions that are bad. I was so looking forward to getting them all worked up so they’d have a bad day.

AlecDalek — June 1, 2008 @ 10:11 am

@LukeV1-5

“Who did they usurp?”

Christians, Muslims, Mormans, they all stole their god from the Jews, and then turned around an persecuted the Jews all through history. Yep, that’s what Jesus would do, you all get to go to heaven. Good work!

(losers)

natedog — June 1, 2008 @ 11:59 am

wow. this is pretty fucking stupid.

people act like all these christians are out there destroying, oppressing, terrorizing, hoarding (wtf?), etc.

the Inquisition is over; gtf over it already.

Everyone of those black words can be used to describe just people in general; not just christians.

and besides, all the black words make me think of the Bush Administration, not christianity…

you anti-christians need to LEAVE JESUS ALONE!!!! (tee hee)

the real problem is that people take what Jesus did and said, and instead of taking his awesome advice, they fuck around and try to live other people’s lives for them.

i mean, wat the FUCK is wrong with (and i am paraphrasing here) “doing unto others as you would have them do unto you” or “love your neighbor as yourself” or “he who is without sin cast the first stone” or “take out the plank in your own eye before you worry about the speck in your neighbor’s eye” or “forgive them for they know not what they do”, etc.?

jesus never was an asshole to anyone, except maybe that one time he threw over a bunch of table and threw a fit in church.

the problem is the bastards who use jesus to control others and all that bullshit. but there is your paradox, because these peopel are not christians, they just play one on TV

/rant

RSIxidor — June 1, 2008 @ 12:00 pm

This uses far too any words that describe a person that follows the religion in the wrong manner (such as believing everything Reverend A-hole says, not looking into it yourself, etc), not the religion itself or any of the religions values.

KommissarKvC — June 1, 2008 @ 12:52 pm

Much as I can sidestep the anti-religion theme put online by these retards, I have to say this:

Evangelists are not voices of a religion, they are zealots who wave their religion at the public with one hand holding their bible and the other hand holding a collection plate for the ‘blind faith’ followers to give them money in the hopes that cold hard cash is the way to heaven

Much as religions have heathens who misuse their religion, (if in fact they really believe in it at all), and with several religions not needing to exist at all, you cannot hold ALL religions and people of faith as bad or wrong

Religion is like American Democracy, if you go around forcing your beliefs onto others, of course you will make enemies, but if youre just happy to follow your own way of life and let others live theirs, all can get along fine

[However, since religious fanatics and americans will NEVER back down and let outsiders ever have the freedom to have their own independant ideals, we just have to sit back and wait to see which one of the two begins World War 3]

dieAntagonista — May 31, 2008 @ 11:43 pm

Lame. Ok so a little chubby girl has access to a camera. Big deal. I’m sure there’s worse out there.

JamesTuskGeorge — June 1, 2008 @ 5:48 am

Aye, she’s more like 4 beers than 40

Gary Scenario — June 1, 2008 @ 7:04 am

I thought it said “Gold Showers” and my hard-on came back a little.

RSIxidor — June 1, 2008 @ 12:01 pm

Man the harpoons. Its a trap. Etc.

JamesTuskGeorge — May 31, 2008 @ 5:59 pm

Did you turn into a black man?

Ben1605 — May 31, 2008 @ 6:45 pm

Sauce?

silverflux — May 31, 2008 @ 7:28 pm

i smoke menthols. i only -wish- i were black.

Ben1605 — May 31, 2008 @ 4:03 pm

Brilliant.

AAK15 — May 31, 2008 @ 4:57 pm

Can’t it be both?

Kero — June 1, 2008 @ 1:09 am

Too bad the joke is whats the difference between ignorance and apethy.

madhouses visites — June 1, 2008 @ 1:16 am

I’m interested in apathy

reptilecobra13 — June 1, 2008 @ 2:57 am

“What’s the difference between ignorance, apathy, and ambivalence?”
“I don’t know and I don’t care, one way or the other.”

Phyreblade — June 1, 2008 @ 4:21 pm

Win.

@reptilecobra13
Also win.

yawn — May 31, 2008 @ 3:42 pm

Lol.

But the user only had one post, so it may just have been one of those annoying “online telemarketers”.

Lord Cocksworth — May 31, 2008 @ 7:32 pm

@yawn:

Really? The English as a third language grammar didn’t give it away?

yawn — May 31, 2008 @ 11:25 pm

@Lord Cocksworth:

You’d be surprised how much English as a third language grammar is produced domestically.