Gianormous Spiders

nature’s reminder that you are, in fact, a little girl.


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    I went to school in Florida for four years, and the worst thing was having our house infested with black widdows. We also had a shitload of brown widdows, the lesser known, twice as venemous but half as aggressive relative to the black widdow. The biggest spider I ever saw was a banana spider.

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    Theyre not dangerous though, but when you bike through their fucking huge webs, and they crawl all over you frantically. . . you are reminded that you are in fact, a girl.


    This a cane spider, they are huge! My first experience with them was in Maui. I thought my Mother in Law was gonna crap her pants. Not dangerous, but it doesn’t really matter when you are standing naked in the shower and see one staring you down. BTW they are fast too! ~rs


    I knew a Vietnam vet who came home from the war and decided to live in a tree in the Okeefenokee Swamp for a while, on a branch, directly beneath a banana spider web. He said the spider taught him a few lessons about life and how to endure it—in that he would fuck up the web a little and watch the spider immediately begin rebuilding. That went on for several months until it bit him and he had to seek medical attention back in civilization; teaching him another life lesson: don’t fuck with spiders.


    I need a crucifix and some fire, now!



    Do you mean brown recluse? I’ve never heard of a brown widow.

    Wiki returns this: Brown Widow which appears to be half as venomous.



    In Western PA we have these massive, territorial water spiders. They look like skinny tarantulas, and get really, really pissed you swim past their homes (in docks, between rocks, ETC), they come flying out of water as born from the bowels of hell at you.

    I had the misfortune of finding one in an outhouse.


    so you’re saying that a spider shot out and nearly raepd you?

    Goddamn spiders creep the shit out of me.


    Oh man, Camiam321’s comment reminded me of all the banana spiders I’d see in Florida. He’s not lying. They seem to build their webs at face-level over walkways…but you never see it until you’re about 4 inches away. I probably saw 10 or 15 this way, but only ran in to one. They sit right in the middle of the web, so when it gets all stuck on you, they do indeed crawl all over, and they are indeed huge, and I was indeed reminded that I was a little crying girl.


    As someone who is moving to Florida in a month, this is not the kind of things I like to to hear. Normally, I’m pretty friendly towards spiders, and even large ones are neat to watch…unless they’re on you. Then, yes, I think I might turn into a little girl.


    Sorry to deliver the bad news! I ran into webs all the time (causing me to writhe like a little girl)… but when they snap like they’re steel wire, you know it’s a black widow. Trust me, you’ll know.
    And don’t worry about the banana spiders. they’re non-venomous, although ginormous and freaky to have on you.


    I feel sad that I don’t have some awesome spider story to share… but then I think to myself…. why the fuck am I sad that I haven’t encountered a huge spider?


    I’ve found 2 brown recluse spiders in my laundry room (in 10 years). They like to hide in dirty laundry and I now use a piece of PVC pipe to move the clothes around before I get a nasty surprise. They’re not that big, but extremely venomous. Easy to type though, they have what looks like a violin on their back(?).

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