Men Are Like Coffee

men-are-like-coffee

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    LukeV1-5tiki godCaioThatSwankyBriangarbledxmission Recent comment authors
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    .. and black ?

    numb7rs
    Member

    Better with a generous helping of Baileys?

    xaldinlancer
    Member

    ground up and served in a coffee mug?

    redlolita
    Member

    with a spoon in them

    Hepathos
    Member

    Leave a smelly breath?

    Kaze
    Member

    Sweet and creamy, with a little sugar in ’em?
    Ground up and in the freezer?

    AKircher
    Member

    Easily available at Starbuck’s, worldwide?

    Darko
    Member

    will scald your crotch?

    schulzbrianr
    Member

    Women are like coffee. They get you up in the morning, and if you try to have them at night, they won’t ever let you get to sleep.

    Captain Horatio Mindblower
    Member

    Pet peeve: That should be “The best ones are rich and warm AND can keep you up all night long”. Two conjunctions are needed because one connects the two things the best ones are (rich, warm) and the other connects the two actions of the best ones (be rich and warm, keep you up all night).

    “Has the whole world gone crazy? Am I the only one around here who gives a shit about the rules?”
    — Walter Sobchak

    Captain Horatio Mindblower
    Member

    All due respect, Tiki God, but damn, it’s too much to be stupid AND obnoxious.

    Can you understand why the sentence “I stayed up all night, drank beer, wine, and whisky, and threw up on Dean Wormer” has two conjunctions?

    The Matrix: Rebooted
    Member

    tiki is correct, captain blower. Your example is not analogous because the items listed are not adjectives.
    “Rich” and “Warm” do not need a conjunction between them because they are independent adjectives of coffee (and men).
    You’re trying to pull some “Eats Shoots and Leaves” style stuff, but your grammar kung-fu is weak.

    schulzbrianr
    Member

    Ugh. The first one (The best ones are rich, warm & can keep you up all night long) is one idea, your “drank beer, wine, and whisky (whiskey?) and threw up on Dean Wormer” is two ideas/actions, the drinking, and the throwing up. If you were trying to correct it, you should have said “I stayed up all night, drank beer and wine and whisky, (sic) and threw up on Dean Wormer.” Or something.

    schulzbrianr
    Member

    Yeah, reboot has the words to describe it, I don’t know adjectives and adverbs, past participles, etc. I read books when I was a kid, didn’t learn English from school.

    The Matrix: Rebooted
    Member

    I had to sing the whole Schoolhouse Rocks song in order to remember the right terminology.

    garbledxmission
    Member

    Illinois Grammar Nazis piss me off…..Elwood, floor it.

    ThatSwankyBrian
    Member

    Sorry gents, the Cap’n is right. I have always struggled to remember how it worked, so I try each portion individually in the sentence to see which way works. If we follow your thinking, the sentences would break down like this: The best ones are rich. (Good) The best ones are warm. (Good) The best ones are can keep you up all night long.(Oooh, fail) If you add in the extra “and,” your resulting sentences are: The best ones are rich and warm. (Good) The best ones can keep you up all night long. (Winnar!) It helps my programmer brain… Read more »

    Caio
    Member

    God fuck it. I really had my hopes up. A good image relating to gender issues, 20 comments. I was ready to sit back and enjoy some polemic extasy. And what the fuck do I fucking find? A grammar debate? Consider this: Those who decide what is grammatically proper in English are, de facto, the English professors at the top universities in Britain and the US. Ever since, like, the fucking fifties, the majority of those professors have agreed (people actually survey this stuff) that Standard Written English is only appropriate in appropriate contexts. What are proper contexts for SWE?… Read more »

    Caio
    Member

    Oh, just to add to that, let’s not forget Mark Twain, e.e. cummings, Dickens, Hemmingway, Chauser, Yeats, Joyce, Frost, the beats, Brautigan, I could go on. Actually, how many figures in English liturature not only use informal English, but use it masterfully? All of them, pretty much.

    But, no, the internet is serious business, and thus requires the most serious form of English possible. The type meant for Government Documents and Scholarly literature.

    Luke Magnifico
    Member

    Holy fucking fuck. Shut the fuck up. It’s fucking gramar.

    Luke Magnifico
    Member

    SEE WHAT I DID THERE



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