Th,the ca…. cat in the ha….

Fuck this,
I’ll just be a stripper

I mentioned this once or twice before, and was amused to find the actualy advertisement that wikipedia mentioned. Here’s the text from the scanned in page:

If Ted Kennedy drove a Volkswagen, he’d be President today.

It floats.

The way our boy is built, we’d be surprised if it didn’t.

The sheet of flat steel that goes udnerneath every Volkswagen keeps out water, as well as dirt and salt and other nasty things that can eat away at the underside of a car. So it’s watertight at the bottom.

And everybody knows it’s easier to shut the door on a Volkswagen after you’ve rolled won the window a little. That proves it’s practically airtight on top.

If it was a boat, we could call it the Water Bug.

It’s not a boat, it’s a car.

And, like mary Jo kapechne, It’s only 99 and 44/100 percent pure.

So it won’t stay afloat forever. Just long enough.

Poor Teddy.

If he’d been smart enough to buy a Volkswagen, he never would have gotten into hot water.

Related Posts:
I’d Rather Hunt With Cheney…
Don’t Drive With Ted Kennedy

The Tower of Babel:

by Pieter Brueghel the ElderGenesis 11:1-9

1 Now the entire earth was of one language and uniform words. 2 And it came to pass when they traveled from the east, that they found a valley in the land of Shinar and settled there. 3 And they said to one another, “Come, let us make bricks and fire them thoroughly”; so the bricks were to them for stones, and the clay was to them for mortar. 4 And they said, “Come, let us build ourselves a city and a tower with its top in the heavens, and let us make ourselves a name, lest we be scattered upon the face of the entire earth”. 5 And the Lord descended to see the city and the tower that the sons of man had built. 6 And The LORD said, “Lo! [they are] one people, and they all have one language, and this is what they have commenced to do. Now, will it not be withheld from them, all that they have planned to do? 7 Come, let us descend and confuse their language, so that one will not understand the language of his companion”. 8 And the Lord scattered them from there upon the face of the entire earth, and they ceased building the city. 9 Therefore, He named it Babel, for there the Lord confused the language of the entire earth, and from there the Lord scattered them upon the face of the entire earth.

The name of this craft is “Dead Reckoning”, and it’s outfitted with several machine guns, and missles, and other destructive pieces of glorious equipment. All of this to combat the hordes of the living dead. Dead Reckoning protected the remains of humanity from the Land Of The Dead.

The Sky Is Falling

The Sky Is Falling, also known as Chicken Little, Chicken Licken or Henny Penny is an old, classical fable of unknown origin about a chicken who believes the sky is falling. The phrase has also become used to indicate a hysterical or mistaken belief that disaster is imminent.

My Lord Spaketh so:

Glass parking lot is a turn of phrase used to express the idea that an eventual nuclear war will essentially turn the world into a bed of glass. The term is also used to refer to an area of sand after a nuclear bomb is detonated over it. The expression rose out of nuclear tests in New Mexico during the Manhattan Project. The heat from the bombs turned the area into a plate of glass.

From the Wikipedia overlords:

A subwoofer is a loudspeaker which reproduces bass frequencies from about 20 Hz to about 200 Hz. Frequencies 16 Hz or lower are more felt than heard. Subwoofers reproduce frequencies from about 35 Hz to about 200 Hz. It is difficult for small loudspeakers to reproduce frequencies below 40 Hz, especially above 100 dB, and so it is often advantageous to use a loudspeaker dedicated to this task.

Ok, so I have a 10 inch bazooka tube in the back of my car, but this? This is an example of a pure and utter asshat. The kind of person that has this running in his truck can be heard for several city blocks.

Frequently on Fark, people thrown down CCG cards that have been photoshopped. This is one of my favorites, and I would love to credit someone with this. I see the Ronald Bieber copywrite notice, but I’m not sure where his website is…

Anyone know someone that’s selling these as bumper stickers? I would love to see them get some free press!

This sticker is of course refering to the fact that if you go hunting with Dick Cheney, you’ll end up with bird shot in your face and heart, and have an extended stay at a hospital. Compare that with if you go driving with Ted Kennedy, you’ll end up dead.

Free speech zones (also known as First Amendment Zones or derisively as Free speech cages) are areas set aside in public places for political activists to exercise their right of free speech. Although such zones existed earlier, instituted by the Clinton administration, they gained more attention after the WTO Meeting of 1999 and have been used vigorously by the George W. Bush administration. Civil libertarians claim that they are used as a form of censorship and public relations management to conceal opposition from the public and elected officials. There is much controversy surrounding the creation of these areas the mere existence of such zones is offensive to some people, who maintain that the First Amendment to the United States Constitution makes the entire country an unrestricted free speech zone.

Personally, I’m one of those that are offended by the mere thought of these places being in existance. In effect they’re methods of saying “Yeah we care about free speech, just do it over there in the corner where we can’t hear you, the TV crew can’t see you, and you won’t be able to change anything.”